I am always happy when the Chinese new year comes because there is food and ang pao, I keep the ang pao under the bed but mother always takes it and she buys clothes for herself, while I, she let her daughter wear torn clothes.
My panties also torn, even though torn, I still wore it because I didn't have panties, I was just a little girl, I had no money and didn't know where to buy panties, it was my mother's duty to buy me panties.
In the morning before going to school I never took a shower because I was afraid of getting tired of drawing water for me to take a shower and again there was no breakfast for me, I didn't have the energy for that.
so when I woke up I went straight to school, about 130 meters from my house, it's very far to go to school for little girl like me.
I only shower once a day, I can't afford to draw water for me and for my mother, I only prioritize my mother to take a bath. I don't remember if my mother showered with soap or with detergent ? if my mother washed with shampoo or detergent?
I remember I showered and washed with detergent, I never brushed my teeth because my mother didn't buy me a toothbrush and toothpaste.
when my breasts started to grow, I never left the house again because I was ashamed to not wear a bra, I only left the house when I went to school and since then I have not been a slave at my mother's house and my mother's sister's house.
My dad asked me why I never left the house to play, I told dad that I was ashamed for not wearing a bra and my school friends all wore bras only I didn't, in the end mom and dad had a fight over bra issues, don't know what they were talking about , finally my mother bought me only one bra, so if the bra is washed and dried in the sun, then I don't wear a bra.
Then when I was in junior high school, during the flag ceremony I fell unconscious, because I didn't eat enough so my body was weak. Since then my body is getting weaker, every afternoon my body has a fever, the afternoon is gone, so it goes on every day, and I don't go to school for 2 weeks.
Finally my father took me to the doctor and the doctor said that I had typhus and gave medicine but it didn't get better, then dad took me I went to another doctor, the doctor said that I had a throat infection and was given medicine and it finally recovered, sorry for the poor father who had to pay dearly for the doctors.
when for the first time I had my period, I had to wear cloth as a sanitary napkin then the cloth was washed and then dried and used again, used over and over again while my mother was wearing a sanitary napkin from a well-known brand at that time.
One day dad came with a typewriter, dad said it was an office typewriter where dad worked, then I used the typewriter to type my childhood story, I typed my story with tears in my eyes, and my tears fell on the typewriter I was typing and i sent it to several local and national magazines and newspapers, my story was published and I got a honorarium, but unfortunately my mother took my honorarium and she bought cosmetics for herself.
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